#13 But if they’re a full-blown narcissist. Narcissists grew up in homes where admitting being at fault led to being devalued. When you see those Narcissist tendencies (idealize, devalue, discard) then you need to RUN!!! Jealous of one’s real freedom, as opposed to his manufactured freedom, jealous of one’s financial independence, as opposed to his gilded cage, jealous of one’s professional achievements, especially in his own area of expertise, because he could have had those too but he chose a different path, jealous … Mel March 19th, 2017 at 10:04 AM . The mind of the narc is only capable of classifying people (and events, places & things…) as extremes of the one concept. Click To Tweet. Then even though you may be saying the right things, there’s little chance they reduce their narcissism with just your help. So when you TRY to hurt them all you do is make them angrier to destroy you. Do … Know that these people do not see us as humans but as objects; hence is why they treat us the way they do. Narcissists groom their targets for the idealize-devalue-discard-hoover cycle. And not an emotional loss but just a materialistic loss. However, that initial euphoria usually wears off. Here are some of the things narcissists are likely to say in relationships, and in what stages to expect them. They want you to feel as They will attempt to destroy your entire being. To them, to lose us is truly a loss. What the narcissist is again incapable of intellectually comprehending due to the disorder, is that you are not to be ‘kept under control’ for the purpose of serving another’s needs. Even then, the odds of reducing their narcissism is limited. The role of splitting in idealisation & devaluation. The moment the relationship falls apart even if it’s not officially over, the Narcissist will treat you as discarded trash. You can and still do love your partner dearly. Narcissists will devalue their Ex. Devaluation: When the Narcissist Begin to Deprecate Their Partner. They tend to follow the same pattern in relationships — idealize, devalue, discard. They also have a certain way of talking. I have found it useful to model how to take appropriate, non-defensive, responsibility. It’s intentional. If this is the case, they need professional therapy. The pathological narcissist’s aim to keep you under control & obediently handing over supply on demand is untenable. This is the devaluation part of the cycle and it is very painful to both the narcissist and the devalued (for very different reasons, of course). Do not be surprised if your deepest darkest secrets are spread across the internet for everyone to see. The narcissist … If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, you know that when a narcissist leaves you, very often they come back and start the whole cycle over again. For most couples, when the honeymoon stage wears off things begin to fall into a predictable pattern or routine. They know the effect this has on neurotransmitters like dopamine. Narcissists devalue us so that they can keep us. And what of devaluation? Reply. Pathological narcissism is underpinned by splitting which is an inability to tolerate ambiguity in the self or others, resulting in black & white thinking. HG, what about devaluation because the narcissist is jealous? A Narc is already feeling devalued inside. Narcissists all act in similar ways.
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